2 Types of Significant Others



Let’s make this clear there are two different types of significant other’s.  There is the “This Pays the Bills” girlfriend/wife and the “Passionate” wife/girlfriend. There is a difference in the two and I want to be the person to help determine which category you fall under.


The “This Pays the Bills” girlfriend/wife she is the one that usually doesn’t know much about basketball, so she does not understand how someone can put so much into the game.  So when she begins a relationship with a coach it is very difficult in the beginning and sometimes years down the road how a person can spend so much time on something that only puts money in his pocket to pay bills. This girlfriend/wife feels a person should separate themselves from their passion at points. Basically, while they do understand their  S/O’s passion is apart of them they also believe that it shouldn’t interfere with time with loved ones; it should be something that you leave when it’s time to go home and not pick back up until the next day when it is time for you to go back in to work. This passion should not consume one’s everyday thinking.  She wants to know, “Why can’t you just take off? “Or “Why can’t you come to this event with me?” She does not understand why she has to be alone at home so much.  Why she has to explain to her family and friends, “Why her husband/boyfriend is not there?” Yes, this girl attends games and supports team events, but has not completely bought into her husband/boyfriends dreams, goals, and passion for the game.  Sometimes it takes years for this girl to get it, and sometimes this girl never gets it. So, she walks away from something that could have been so great if she had just taking the time to understand.  I think at some point in our S/O’s career we all fall under the “This Pays the Bills,” category.  And sometimes we eventually understand, this is their passion and begin to have an understanding for the love our significant others have for this life.


This leads to the “Passionate” girlfriend/wife, she is sometimes the girl that knows and understands basketball because she has played herself or grew up around it.  Sometimes she is the girl that may not have played, but her S/O’s passion is so strong it inspires her. She sees that passion is what drives him to get up in the morning and go to work.  When she begins a relationship with a coach his passion for his coaching may be the very thing that drew her to him.  She seen the hard work, dedication, and commitment one could have for something they love. Yes, this girl feels lonely at times; angry that her husband/boyfriend is not around for special occasions, and frustrated that life revolves around coaching.  She knows that to be a part of this passion she has to get involved, find a hobby for herself, and figure out how she can balance her life with his life so that they can continue this journey together.  Sometime it takes this girl years to become this passionate girl, but once she gets it she will never turn her back on her husband/boyfriend.

Are either of these girls wrong in their thoughts and feelings? How can you be so sure about your answer? Can you start off as one of these girls and end up the other girl? Rather you are the first girl or the second girl, one thing I do know for sure is that this life is not an easy one.  And it is not cut out for everyone.  But do understand if/when you are involved with a coach you must become the passionate one in order to enjoy your journey together.

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